Rachele FalchiWomen Against Women: The Paradox of Internalized Patriarchy.
Against the backdrop of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, a disturbing story emerges, revealing how deeply ingrained the cultural problem is that underlies certain crimes and the reactions they provoke.
Where are we? Palermo. When? Today, yesterday, tomorrow—any time works. Any place is the same. North and South. Inside, outside. The world.
What are we talking about? A story that, were it not tragic, would seem like a grotesque play.
Gang rape, trial underway. But the plot twist comes from behind the scenes: the mothers of the young defendants—the “good boys” (of course, right?)—don’t just defend their sons. No. They point fingers, arms, and elbows at the victim, accusing her of orchestrating a devious trap to lead their boys, sons of the finest Italian patriarchy, to perdition, lust, and sin.
Raped and still a slut, a bitch and a liar.
An erotic game hatched by the bad girl – right? – where she had more than fun – is that so?.
Your boy, dear mother – he never wanted to end up in such a game, in a dirty gangbang because that’s not what you taught him, right?
Maybe it got a little out of hand. The lustful, the sinful, the libertine, the whore (no, mother?) has gone from orchestrator to training quail: torn to pieces by dogs.
But what did he want? He provoked them, didn’t he?
No.
Mothers who betray their daughters
These mothers are the product of a system where shame is not for those who rape, but for those who speak out. They are daughters of patriarchy, raised to be obedient and complicit, loyal to the mantra of respectability at all costs. Even when that cost is a crying girl who is lucky to survive the monster.
And so here they are, these mothers, ready to march with a torch on November 25th, only to return home and call the girl their son raped a “whore.” Why? Because it’s easier to accuse than face the moral abyss.
Good Boy
“Well-behaved children.” A phrase that feels like a slap in the face. What does it mean? That you have pressed clothes and a happy family photo at the beach? That your good upbringing makes you immune to the law, to consent, to humanity? There are no “good boys” who rape, attack, psychologically destroy, humiliate, threaten, or manipulate. There are people with a dark side they are controlled by. And often, more than we think, this stems from a family structure and emotional neglect, normalized in a society still dominated by patriarchal thinking.
Dear mom, please believe me, something has gone horribly wrong in both education and society.
I won’t comment on the recent statements of a government minister, supported by the Prime Minister, who sweeps the balcony clean by throwing his trash into someone else’s house. And then people are surprised at how poorly Italy is doing on this issue.
Patriarchy 2.0: Female complicity, daughter and slave of the system
Patriarchy, that age-old monster, doesn’t just need men to stay in power. It needs women: mothers, sisters, friends who are ready to defend their abusers because they see in them a reflection of their own cages. It’s not about defending their children, but about enthusiastically supporting a mentality that always blames the victim, a culture that teaches men to dominate and women to remain silent, or worse, to be complicit.
Women and patriarchy: an involuntary yet lethal complicity
We cannot ignore that many women, raised and educated in a patriarchal system, end up, often unknowingly, becoming complicit in the very system that oppresses them. These mothers, in their attempt to protect their children, transform into amplifiers of a culture that justifies or downplays male violence, always finding an excuse for those who perpetuate it.
It’s emblematic that this case emerges just days before the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, a moment for reflection that should push us to confront not only those who commit acts of violence but also those who, directly or indirectly, tolerate or justify it. Patriarchy is not only a male problem; it’s a system that also conditions women, leading them to defend the indefensible in order to preserve a harmful cultural balance.
It’s Enough
I want to share the lyrics of a very recent song that is a manifesto for emancipation, the evolution of the human species, and a stronghold for the humanization of this society. The message is crystal clear. We can no longer afford to make excuses for anyone.
Flag by Giulia Mei – english lyrics https://lyricstranslate.com/en/giulia-mei-bandiera-english
A lesson that is never learned
Women against women are the greatest failure of the feminist struggle. Because as long as a mother teaches her son that it’s more important not to get caught than to respect, and as long as another woman accuses a victim of ‘provoking him,’ there will be no evolution.
Let’s help each other gain awareness, break the chains. If I don’t see it, you must, we all must be there to show that there is another way.
Change is not a torchlight procession or a post on Facebook. It’s looking in the mirror and admitting that monsters exist and often live in our homes, that we cannot educate with the fear of social judgment but with the courage of truth. Until then, stories like this will continue to repeat. And we will continue to be outraged, as always, too little and too late.
Free, I want to be free. Truly.
